**Giveaway is now closed**
I recently attended a holiday party. They asked everyone to bring a gift valued at $10 and under for a gift exchange. I brought a pretty picture frame that I had no use for. When it was time for the exchange, I was the first to pick and chose an environmentally friendly looking box. However, I opened it up and found a hummingbird feeder, head lamp, and some random old tools. Since I was first, I could not steal a gift from someone else and no one wanted to steal from me.
Jen Tucker had a much better experience when she participated in a gift exchange. She's here to tell you about it. She even has a special gift to give away in honor of Valentine's Day, and you could be the lucky (and we mean REALLY lucky) recipient.
Jen is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt. In September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at Twitter, Facebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed it, check out her first Chick Lit Cheerleader post here.
I'll let our funny Valentine have the floor now:
Mr. Wonderful: The Gift that Keeps on Giving
I noticed his chiseled features across the room. His perfectly sculpted hair remained unscathed by the snowy weather he’d endured to reach the Christmas party that evening. His Crest Whitestrips endorsed smile blinded me. No—really—it did. If that weren’t enough, he was the only man who entered the party carrying flowers. Dreamboat! Mr. Wonderful had to be mine. Yet, if it weren’t for Charlie, the bottle of sangria, and someone stealing my hummingbird puzzle, Mr. Wonderful and I would’ve never crossed paths.
Wait—what?! I lost you; sorry. Let me back up just a little bit...
I love holiday parties, especially ones most people roll their eyes at. Ugly Christmas Sweater, Dirty Santa, Ornament Exchange, Cookie Swap, whatever it may be titled, I want to be a part of it. If prizes are involved, I must win. I’m über competitive. Blame my parents. They predestined me in this fashion through genetic mutation.
In December, my husband, Mike, and I were prepping to attend our annual neighborhood Christmas party. I was wrapping a miniature leg lap ornament, made legendary by the classic movie, A Christmas Story, while Mike thumbed through his iPhone. He looked up at me and chastised, “You’re not giving that leg lamp away are you? You’re supposed to take junk we hate to these things to unload on people.”
He’s so Welcome Wagon-ish, isn’t he? “No one wants junk, Mike. They want something funny and unusual they’d never buy for themselves.”
“That’s exactly what I said, Blondie. They want our junk! So don’t give away the leg lamp! I love that thing,” he whimpered. Realizing Mike thought I’d taken his fra-gee-lay (must be Italian) ornament off the Christmas tree, he calmed down once I pointed out his beloved bauble remained on our faux spruce.
We entered our hosts’ home, and after hugs and holiday cheer was exchanged, I bee-lined it to the Christmas tree to inventory the gift swap goods. I’ve realized a few things as a participant in sneaky gift exchanges. First, never trust packaging. Once, I excitedly opened a cylindrical container usually reserved for wine at a work holiday party. Imagine my disappointment when I found straws and a recipe book for after jaw surgery blender meals. Ick! Next, bigger is not always better. I stand by that statement. A beautifully wrapped wardrobe sized box might lead to entrapment! Inside, an avant-garde, poodle shaped candle is waiting for you. Again—ick! Lastly, never fall for the old trick that a Crate and Barrel shopping bag means those contents are enclosed. It’s a clever ruse, my friends!
After chatting, snacking and swilling, the lovely Cindy passed around the hat containing numbers we drew to determine the order of unwrapping gifts. I drew lucky number 13. I wasn’t opening first, and I wouldn’t be choosing last. I felt the odds were ever in my favor.
I watched my neighbor flash his piece of paper with the number one written on it and approach the tree. He snagged a tall, cylindrical box and retreated to his chair. I leaned into Mike, whispering, “It’s not wine, you know.” I was wrong. It was sangria. Not after surgery supplies. Mike quietly said in my ear, “Only freak show teachers like you do that to each other. Not upstanding citizens. They put wine in wine boxes. Why? Because they’re wine boxes.”
I snapped my head around, and tried to keep my voice low, “What are you saying, smarty-pants?”
“I’m saying you’re going home with a puzzle tonight.”
You know, it was the way he said it. The snarky, middle child, fraternity boy, former bartender tones in his voice. I didn’t like it at all. And as I turned to face the group again, one of my sweet neighbors stood before me smiling. “Jen, I really like puzzles. So I think I’m going to take your gift.”
Well isn’t karma a *BLEEP* Mike Tucker, I thought, because guess who’s coming home with me tonight?! Mr. Wonderful, that’s who! Mike and I exchanged piercing glances, as I moseyed over and stole (sorry Charlie) the stubby, little man.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Now it's time to check out a special movie that Jen made. All I can say is, move over Les Miserables and Zero Dark Thirty...we have a new best picture contender!
As you can see in the movie (c'mon, let's make this go viral)...Jen will send Mr. Wonderful anywhere in the continental US, along with a copy of The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt.
And just so readers outside of the US aren't left out, she will also send either a Kindle or print version of The Day I Lost.... to a lucky reader anywhere in the world!
Jump on this opportunity now, before someone in Jen's house snatches him up!
|He's so much cuter than Matt Lauer!|
How to win Mr. Wonderful and/or The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt:
Please tell us the cheesiest pick-up line you've ever received (or the strangest thing a guy did for your attention).
One entry per person.
Please list where you are located (country) and include your e-mail address or another way to reach you if you win. Entries without contact info will NOT be included.
US only for Mr. Wonderful (and one book). Worldwide for Kindle or print book only. Giveaway ends February 19th at midnight EST.
|Blowing him one last kiss |
before sending him off to a VERY lucky lady!