Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Chick Lit Cheerleader: Mr. Wonderful and a special V-day giveaway

Introduction by Melissa Amster

**Giveaway is now closed**

I recently attended a holiday party. They asked everyone to bring a gift valued at $10 and under for a gift exchange. I brought a pretty picture frame that I had no use for. When it was time for the exchange, I was the first to pick and chose an environmentally friendly looking box. However, I opened it up and found a hummingbird feeder, head lamp, and some random old tools. Since I was first, I could not steal a gift from someone else and no one wanted to steal from me.

Jen Tucker had a much better experience when she participated in a gift exchange. She's here to tell you about it. She even has a special gift to give away in honor of Valentine's Day, and you could be the lucky (and we mean REALLY lucky) recipient.

Jen is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of SaltIn September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at TwitterFacebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed it, check out her first Chick Lit Cheerleader post here.

I'll let our funny Valentine have the floor now:

Mr. Wonderful: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

I noticed his chiseled features across the room. His perfectly sculpted hair remained unscathed by the snowy weather he’d endured to reach the Christmas party that evening. His Crest Whitestrips endorsed smile blinded me. No—really—it did. If that weren’t enough, he was the only man who entered the party carrying flowers. Dreamboat! Mr. Wonderful had to be mine. Yet, if it weren’t for Charlie, the bottle of sangria, and someone stealing my hummingbird puzzle, Mr. Wonderful and I would’ve never crossed paths.

Wait—what?! I lost you; sorry. Let me back up just a little bit...

I love holiday parties, especially ones most people roll their eyes at. Ugly Christmas Sweater, Dirty Santa, Ornament Exchange, Cookie Swap, whatever it may be titled, I want to be a part of it. If prizes are involved, I must win. I’m ├╝ber competitive. Blame my parents. They predestined me in this fashion through genetic mutation.

In December, my husband, Mike, and I were prepping to attend our annual neighborhood Christmas party. I was wrapping a miniature leg lap ornament, made legendary by the classic movie, A Christmas Story, while Mike thumbed through his iPhone. He looked up at me and chastised, “You’re not giving that leg lamp away are you? You’re supposed to take junk we hate to these things to unload on people.”

He’s so Welcome Wagon-ish, isn’t he? “No one wants junk, Mike. They want something funny and unusual they’d never buy for themselves.”

“That’s exactly what I said, Blondie. They want our junk! So don’t give away the leg lamp! I love that thing,” he whimpered. Realizing Mike thought I’d taken his fra-gee-lay (must be Italian) ornament off the Christmas tree, he calmed down once I pointed out his beloved bauble remained on our faux spruce. 

We entered our hosts’ home, and after hugs and holiday cheer was exchanged, I bee-lined it to the Christmas tree to inventory the gift swap goods. I’ve realized a few things as a participant in sneaky gift exchanges. First, never trust packaging. Once, I excitedly opened a cylindrical container usually reserved for wine at a work holiday party. Imagine my disappointment when I found straws and a recipe book for after jaw surgery blender meals. Ick! Next, bigger is not always better. I stand by that statement. A beautifully wrapped wardrobe sized box might lead to entrapment! Inside, an avant-garde, poodle shaped candle is waiting for you. Again—ick! Lastly, never fall for the old trick that a Crate and Barrel shopping bag means those contents are enclosed. It’s a clever ruse, my friends!

After chatting, snacking and swilling, the lovely Cindy passed around the hat containing numbers we drew to determine the order of unwrapping gifts. I drew lucky number 13. I wasn’t opening first, and I wouldn’t be choosing last. I felt the odds were ever in my favor.

I watched my neighbor flash his piece of paper with the number one written on it and approach the tree. He snagged a tall, cylindrical box and retreated to his chair. I leaned into Mike, whispering, “It’s not wine, you know.” I was wrong. It was sangria. Not after surgery supplies. Mike quietly said in my ear, “Only freak show teachers like you do that to each other. Not upstanding citizens. They put wine in wine boxes. Why? Because they’re wine boxes.”

Sadly, lucky number thirteen proved unlucky. Due to rules beyond my control, gifts can only be stolen twice. The wine moved betwixt changing owners faster than you can say, “Grandma got run over by a reindeer” before I had a chance to steal. Shaken, yet not stirred, I watched the gift opening continue. One of the gifts opened was Mr. Wonderful. I was smitten. Yet when it was my turn, my inner Girl Scout inside felt it was wrong to steal him from my fab neighbor, Charlie. I was torn. I reached for an unopened gift. Once opened, I handed Mike the used wrappings that had covered my new puzzle. The box depicted hummingbirds and flowers; cute, right? Balling up the wrappings, Mike smirked. “I think you’re pretty safe with that puzzle, Blondie.”

I snapped my head around, and tried to keep my voice low, “What are you saying, smarty-pants?”

“I’m saying you’re going home with a puzzle tonight.” 

 You know, it was the way he said it. The snarky, middle child, fraternity boy, former bartender tones in his voice. I didn’t like it at all. And as I turned to face the group again, one of my sweet neighbors stood before me smiling. “Jen, I really like puzzles. So I think I’m going to take your gift.”

Well isn’t karma a *BLEEP* Mike Tucker, I thought, because guess who’s coming home with me tonight?! Mr. Wonderful, that’s who! Mike and I exchanged piercing glances, as I moseyed over and stole (sorry Charlie) the stubby, little man. 

Mr. Wonderful and I have enjoyed watching Beaches, mani-pedi time, and he never devoured my last Frango Mint (don’t get me started) unlike some people in my home have. Yet, if you know me, there is only one wonderful man in my life, besides my daddy, and that’s Mike Tucker. So now I’m ready to send him off to meet his Ms. Wonderful. I’m hoping that Ms. Wonderful is you! I know he was saving the best for last.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Now it's time to check out a special movie that Jen made. All I can say is, move over Les Miserables and Zero Dark Thirty...we have a new best picture contender!

As you can see in the movie (c'mon, let's make this go viral)...Jen will send Mr. Wonderful anywhere in the continental US, along with a copy of The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt.

And just so readers outside of the US aren't left out, she will also send either a Kindle or print version of The Day I Lost.... to a lucky reader anywhere in the world!

Jump on this opportunity now, before someone in Jen's house snatches him up!

He's so much cuter than Matt Lauer!

How to win Mr. Wonderful and/or The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt:
Please tell us the cheesiest pick-up line you've ever received (or the strangest thing a guy did for your attention). 

One entry per person.

Please list where you are located (country) and include your e-mail address or another way to reach you if you win. Entries without contact info will NOT be included.

US only for Mr. Wonderful (and one book). Worldwide for Kindle or print book only. Giveaway ends February 19th at midnight EST.

Blowing him one last kiss
before sending him off to a VERY lucky lady!


Book Mama said...

I had a guy invite himself out on an outing with my son and myself. I was chatting with him and we got talking about the weekend. I told him that I was bringing my son to a baseball game. He said ... my kids and I will go too. I thought ... that's strange. I didn't invite him. Oddly enough, I ended up marrying this man and have been with him for 13 yrs. We joke about how he invited himself on a date. He later told me that if he asked if they could go I could've rejected him. By telling me instead of asking me he took out the potential for rejection. I thought that was pretty clever AND sneaky!

New York ... United States


Tracie Banister said...

I want Mr. Wonderful in the worst way! I'm already imagining all of the wonderful "dates" we'll have together. I'm sure he'd be a great supporter of my work. And I have the perfect spot for him right here on my desk next to Mr. William Shakespeare! :)

Okay, it's not a line, but I did have a guy tell me that I had "bedroom eyes." I was an innocent high school girl at the time, so I was a little freaked out by the comment! As for something weird a guy did to get my attention, how about dating a close friend of mine? No lie. When he got drunk at a party, he told me that he'd started dating my friend so that he could be near me. Needless to say, I was NOT flattered!

I await the arrival of Mr. Wonderful with bated breath. :)

Nina said...

Okay, here's a good one my friend and I heard: if you were a toilet, you'd be a porta-hottie.
Now, when I say good, I don't mean good good, I mean ridiculous good! Haha!

DD said...

So the 'best' line I've heard live and in person came after a guy asked me to dance at a ridiculous country bar that I couldn't believe I was actually in. After he asked me to dance, I showed him the ring on my left ring finger and he then says, (no joke!) 'Asta la vista, baby!' I stood there, mouth open, struck dumb and silent at the hilarity. To this day I nearly pee myself when I think about that night.

Kansas, USA

dawndennis66611 at yahoo dot com

Anonymous said...

Ha ha—great post and video! Jen Tucker, you are too funny! Happy Valentine's Day!

Samantha Stroh Bailey said...

I loved this so much! Great post and seeing you and your family had me laughing so hard I cried! Happy Valentine's Day, lovely and awesomely talented Jen Tucker!!!

Lauren McCormick said...

I LOVE Jen Tucker!!
Her video shows exactly the kind of person she is, genuine, very funny and imaginative!
Reading her books is like talking to your best friend telling you about her day and all you can do is laugh, cry, enjoy yourself, and completely relate!

While I'm the lucky owner of both of her books, one my cousin sent me, the other I won, I'm jumping up and down waving my arms crazily in the air while screaming, ME!! ME!!
I want Mr. Wonderful very much!!

I will gladly and proudly give the book won to a dear friend if I'm chosen, and I'll happily give
Mr. Wonderful the perfect home!!

I also adore your glasses, Jen! They are precious just like you!!

The goofiest pick up line I've been told is, I could drown in your eyes, and I fell for it hard, and gratefully so, as I'll be married to the handsome young man that told me that, for 21 years on Valentine's Day!!
Throughout our marriage I've heard many cheesy and goofy lines, and I still fall for them every time!

I follow CLC on FB, am a member, had my Mom join, follow in email and Pinterest.
I always share Giveaway Contests on FB.

itzhunic at hotmail dot com

P.S. Thank you Jen, from the bottom of my heart, for all your sweet, supportive, and thoughtful messages.

Mrs Mommy Booknerd said...

A guy actually tried to pick my up by saying he thought we were related! Yikes!

Mrsmommybooknerdsbookreviews at gmail dot com

Anonymous said...

My first Homecoming after graduating from Purdue, I was hanging out at Jake's Roadhouse with about 10-15 of my sorority sisters. After a while, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around and there was a very tall, fine looking man. He said, "Well, let's go." When I looked at him with what I am sure was absolute shock, he said, "Aren't we going to Harry's?" I laughed and told him I didn't even know who he was. He smiled and introduced himself and we ended up talking the rest of the evening.

11 years later, we are still talking through evening as long as the 3 kids actually leave us alone! :)

Kat said...

My boyfriend when we'd be going together a while and realised we both liked lionel richie he said to me, Your once, twice, three times my baby and I love you. At the end of this month we've been together 4 years so I know he meant it.

Nova said...

cheesiest; "My name is Mr. Right, aren't you looking for me?" lol
(actually his name was Mr. at least he wasn't lying; made him show me his I.D.)

love this blog entry and the video!!!

Felicia said...

I love this post! Too cute!

A group of girls and myself went to a festival one evening and a ccouple of guys started singing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling". It was a couple of years after the Top Gun movie. We all thought it was really cheesy. I mean, pick another song at least!

I hope I win so Mr. Wonderful and I can watch Les Miserable together when it comes on on dvd soon. I don't think the hubby will be very interested. :)


felicialso @gmail. com

Mary Preston said...

Hello from AUSTRALIA.

One guy told me he was a Kennedy. Yes, those Kennedy's. (My first thought was Mr Kennedy who cuts my hair.)


Karen said...

The short version: I met a man who said that the minute he saw me, he fell in love with me. I thought he was nuts. We just celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary!

The not-quite-so-short version: I was leaving my then-husband so I took my two sons and moved to a kid-friendly complex into a unit being vacated by a man who was separating from his then-wife and was moving, with his three sons, into a bigger unit in the same complex. The day I moved in, he saw I had a washer/dryer but he knew my unit had no hook ups so he offered to let me use his garage hook ups and I accepted. The next day, one of his sons knocked on my door to borrow something. The third day, the man came over with one of his sons asleep in his arms, along with a six-pack and asked if he might visit for awhile. (I hate alcohol!) The fourth day, he spent the night. He said that the minute he saw me, he fell in love with me. I thought he was nuts. We just celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary!

Karen said...




User name: "Karen"

bn100 said...

Fun post.

Cheesiest line: "were you talking to me? No, would you like to?


Literary Chanteuse said...

There was a guy once that I liked who had a rather different hair style (yeah I don't know what I was thinking) anyway I discovered a friend of a friend had a crush on me and decided to get his hair cut in the same manner as the guy that I liked. Hmmmm... needless to say that was a turn off.



Unknown said...

The cheesiest (and most disgusting) line someone has used on me was "Do you have a little Irish in you?" If I said no, he would have then said "would you like to?" (Ew.) It backfired on him, though, since I am VERY Irish :)

I'm in the US

StereoQueenBee said...

I have had a few strange experiences but I will never forget the guy who showed up on a blind date with me with a fake parrot on his shoulder!


Jeryl M, said...

I was out at this club once and this guy handed me a glowstick.

Erica said...

My Mr. Wonderful is a truly quirky guy... but great.

Live in US.

Follow the blog by email twitter FB GFC.

wordywon at gmail dot com

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