Thursday, September 4, 2014

Go To Gay: Sentimental September

Introduction by Tracey Meyers

Those that have known me for a very long time know that mid-September is a reflective time of year for me.

Part of this has to do with the fact that Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, typically takes place around this time of year. (How can you not reflect at the beginning of a new year?)  However, a greater part of it has to do with something I don't typically talk a lot about with those outside of my inner circle - the passing of my dad, which took place almost 25 years ago.

So why do I mention it today in such a public way?  Well, today it comes up because of this month's Go-To-Gay column written by CLC Go-To-Gay (and my friend) Wade Rouse.

Upon receiving and reading this month's column, I couldn't help but immediately think of my dad.  It not only captured how I've always felt about September in general, but further embodied the emotions I feel each and every September as the anniversary of my dad's passing approaches.  Though our experiences are different, I can relate and sympathize with what Wade is currently going through.

It is for this reason, as we welcome in September I will embrace the sentiment this season brings and let it lift me up as I recall the wonderful memory of the wonderful man I got the honor of calling "dad."

Sentimental September

Even though it's been over three decades since I last lived at home and headed off to school, I swear I can still hear my father singing at the top of his lungs the moment September arrives:

Hey look me over, lend me an ear
Fresh out of clover, mortgaged up to here
Don't pass the plate folks, don't pass the cup
I figure whenever you're down and out, the only way is up

My dad was an early morning man, thanks mostly to the military. He never needed an alarm clock. As soon as the sky brightened, the first bird chirped, he was up to greet them.

I never needed an alarm clock either. My father's booming, off-key voice was enough to wake the dead. So was his banging of pots and pans, jangling of keys, and making of coffee.

For years, he was my wake-up call, and that call began with the start of school in September. No matter how old any of us are, whether we have kids, whether they're still in school or long gone, September is filled with nostalgia.

Though still warm, it marks the official end of summer. I can see it in the trees, some of whose leaves have turned more yellow, some of whose branches are tinged in color.

There is a return to routine, a societal flow as constant as the ever-cooling waves along the beach.

September is a sad farewell to summer and excited hello to fall: We can all recall the start of school, the ringing of the bell, the smell of the lunchroom and new books, recess, friends, old and new.

Much of September's nostalgia still applies today, even as I near 50.

As August's days end, I find myself saying goodbye to good friends I have spent time with over the summer months in our resort town, as they head back to their city lives and urban routines. Labor Day feels like an adult version of the last week of school.

Though I am sad to say goodbye to my friends – just as I was in school – there is an excitement about what lies ahead, too. September means a return to routine for me as well: Days spent waking early and writing with the windows open, evenings spent relishing the last warm days.

September's nostalgia makes it one of my favorite months. It is a middle ground for me, not only on my annual calendar but also on my calendar of life.

It is not quite summer, not quite fall, but a beautiful transition.

I am smack-dab in the middle of my own middle ground in life – not young, not old – and while I have great sentimentality for my past, it is tempered by my excitement for the future. Perhaps that is why September resonates so deeply in my soul: It still feels so young, but you realize, you know that it is aging, its days now more numbered rather than unending.

Sadly, my Septembers have become even more nostalgic, as my father is now battling dementia. He is weak but still doing well, but his memory – especially of my current life and of current events – is sketchy at best, and my heart breaks for him when he cannot recall things I've just told him.

But every September, I still ask him to sing his wake-up song – like he used to so long ago – and, amazingly, he can typically recall many of the lyrics.

And so will I, no matter how many Septembers lie ahead.

The writings of bestselling humorist Wade Rouse – called “wise, witty and wicked” by USA Today and the lovechild of Erma Bombeck and David Sedaris – have been featured multiple times on NBC’s Today Show as well as on Chelsea Lately on E! and His latest memoir, It’s All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays and 50 Boxes of Wine (reviewed here) launched in paperback February 1st from Broadway, and he is creator and editor of the humorous dog anthology, I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship: Hilarious, Heartwarming Tales about Man’s Best from America’s Favorite Humorists (NAL). The book features a Foreword by Chelsea Handler’s dog, Chunk, essays by such beloved chick lit authors as Jane Green, and 50 percent of the book’s net royalties go to the Humane Society of the United States. His first memoir, America's Boy, has been re-published by Magnus Books for paperback and Kindle. For more, visit his website, or friend him on Facebook or Twitter.


Janine said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I know how hard it is. Hugs for you.

October is the month I look forward to all year. That is when it finally starts cooling down here. After the long hot summer, I always welcome the cooler days.

Carol Fragale Brill said...

I relate to so much in this post. My dad's birthday is September 4th and this Oct, it will be 50 years since he died so Sept/Oct are always filled with memories of him.
and, I too live in a resort town so the following really resonates with me. "As August's days end, I find myself saying goodbye to good friends I have spent time with over the summer months in our resort town, as they head back to their city lives and urban routines. Labor Day feels like an adult version of the last week of school." thanks, carol

Mary Koppel said...

What a sweet memory of an amazing man! Thank you for sharing, Wade. Although I'll admit - in Southern California, the seasons just never change...

Suus said...

Such a beautiful post and what an amazing way to remember your dad.