Let's get our sugar high on!
Get Me to The Candy
It’s the most wonderful time of year! We carve pumpkins, decorate our porches with glowing purple spiders, and purchase a plethora of candy helping to secure the 401K accounts of dentists across this great nation of ours. And I’m wondering the following for those who open their doors to trick or treaters: what kind of candy buyer are you? Here’s why I ask…
I started out being the candy buyer who only bought the good stuff. The confectionery treats I craved; I liked. Not only did I want to be the “good candy house” kids remembered year after year, if there were any treats leftover, I wanted the yummy stuff. I always purchased my sugar laden bags early to ensure I had my pick of the bunch. I would hate to run to the store days, or even hours before I flicked my front porch light. That’s too much stress.
Here’s where that plan became a problem.
I opened the bags, just to nibble on a peanut butter cup here and a few Bottle Caps there. For some reason, they began to magically disappear bag after bag way before Halloween! Isn’t that weird? My jeans became tighter. I had to buy more candy for the kiddos. Not good.
Then, I evolved into that bargain bag candy lady. The one with the stuff no one would ever buy in real life with gum, off-brand suckers, and taffy that could outlive the zombie apocalypse. This kept me from eating it by the handful.
There was a slight complication with this new plan.
On the one night of the year you give candy away, I couldn’t give this stuff away. It started riots! Sweet little children became incensed. “Mrs. Tucker,’ one sweet little munchkin asked, ‘what happened to the Hershey bars you had last year?”
I smiled. “I went with a different candy this year! Want a few extra pieces?”
Zombies and mummies ran from my front door as fast as Olympic sprinters take a causal stroll.
So, when in doubt go back to the winning plan, right?
I am now that person who buys candy a day or two before Halloween. The one I swore I’d never become. Whatever I find is what I dish out. Whatever is left on the shelves is the candy for me, and I’m totally fine with that. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not buying circus peanuts or gum that violently rips out your molars. I’m talking about the good stuff; it’s still there! You might have to dig around a little bit yet you’ll find it.
What’s your plan, and poison, when it comes to Halloween? I’d love to hear all about it! If any of you have a few extra Bottle Caps or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on November 1st, I wouldn’t be upset if you sent some my way. I’m not saying – but I’m just saying....
Jen Tucker is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt. In September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at Twitter, Facebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed them. check out her previous Chick Lit Cheerleader posts here.