Sara and Melissa Talk About...School (Again)

We've been running a column series (for over three years now!) to get more personal with our readers. This month, we are talking about school, since it's back-to-school season and all. You are not having déjà vu if you've been following our columns for a while. We talked about school a couple of years ago, but this time we're doing something different with our thoughts on the topic. 

We're always open to topic suggestions, so please don't hesitate to share those in the comments. We'd also love to know if you can relate to anything we've said or hear your own thoughts on the topic. So don't be shy. :) We look forward to getting to know you as much as we're letting you get to know us. You can find our previous columns here, in case you missed them. 

Sara Steven:

I’m currently in my hometown of Salem, Oregon, visiting a close childhood friend of mine. She had a housewarming party over the weekend that I was unable to attend, but I saw enough of the photos and videos to know it was like a mini-reunion with several of our former classmates from high school, middle school, and some even from elementary school! 

I’d originally planned on writing about my two sons and how much transition we’ve all had this year, with the oldest starting his freshman year at Arizona State University, and his little brother is now a middle schooler, but thinking about the mini-reunion and my own school years reminded me of how much transition I’d dealt with myself when I was just a kid. 

My college freshman has only been enrolled in two elementary schools during his youth. Moving from Nebraska to Arizona after his fourth grade year was more difficult on me than it was on him, I think, largely due to feeling conflicted on making him start over at a brand new school, where he knew no one. The middle schooler has only ever known one school his entire life–well, now two, if you count his middle school. But he's with the same children he’s grown with since kindergarten; the same familiar faces are all he’s ever known.   

By the time I hit sixth grade, I’d gone to five schools. FIVE. And the funny thing is, they were all schools in the same city! It’s not like I left town or moved to another state. 

The roster looks something like this:

Liberty Elementary School: First and Second grade years. It was close enough that I would walk there, alone. Which is something I would have never been comfortable with for my own kids at that age, but it was also the eighties and parents were a lot more free-range in those days. I still remember some of my teachers, particularly my first grade teacher, Mrs. Jarvis. The school counselor there was also pretty amazing. So amazing, that she had a school named after her years later! But due to a district change and where I lived, I moved on to...

Salem Heights Elementary School: For my third and half of my fourth grade year. I was bussed there due to how far away it was from where I lived, which never made sense to me and still doesn’t. Maybe Liberty was overpopulated and they needed to move some kids around to other schools. I mostly remember the bond I formed with one friend with hearing loss, who had taught me sign language and I’d become fluent. I loved communicating with her. But then I moved from my mother’s home and ended up living permanently with my father, which meant...

Four Corners Elementary School: I only went to this school for the remainder of the fourth grade year. I recall Billy Ocean’s “Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car” was a huge hit around that time and we’d all sing it during recess while swinging around on the monkey bars. The move from Liberty to Salem Heights had been tough for me, with having to make adjustments with new teachers and students, but with Four Corners, I felt like I could tackle the newness. I built some resiliency.

Swegle Elementary School: We moved to another part of Salem and my fifth grade year was spent at Swegle. My teacher’s name was Mrs. Weatherbee, a name I will never forget, and amazingly enough, one of my classmates at Swegle ended up becoming a classmate later on during high school, later leading me to her sister, who I’m still best friends with to this day. I decided to participate in the school spelling bee that year, but was knocked out of the running when I had to spell “occasion.” 

Brush College Elementary School: We moved again to the West Salem district–another area of town I was unfamiliar with. A new school I was unaccustomed to. The resiliency I felt before had worn off some. I think age and awareness, the need to be accepted made me more nervous and edgy. When I walked into the doors of Brush College, I saw a girl there in the lobby area, and after seeing me standing around looking lost, she asked me if I were new or needed help. She was this little lanky blond thing, sweet. I tried to find my voice, letting her know that yes–I’m new. She asked me if I knew who my teacher would be and what grade I was in, and when I said I was a sixth grader and was in Mrs. Shacher’s class, her whole face lit up.

“I’m also in Mrs. Shacher’s class!” she said.

I never knew how brash and strong and amazing she’d become, some thirty plus years later….she’s my longest childhood friendship, and the one I’m currently visiting. 

There are times I reflect on my childhood and I wish I’d been able to stick with one school long enough to form long-lasting bonds. Some friendships I remember feeling fiercely loyal to, but then I’d move and as hard as we would try, we never stayed in touch. I love that my two sons have friendships that span years, or that my oldest has his “core four”--four friends he’s had since we moved to Arizona who are his closest friendships. I love that my youngest has best friends he’s had since kindergarten. I’m glad I’ve been able to foster that. But I think I learned a lot from how much I moved around, how often I had to change schools and meet new people. I think it’s helped to shape who I am today, and of course–some friendships have stood the test of time, no matter what. My childhood bestie and I are proof of that. 

Melissa Amster:

Since I last posted about this topic, I found out that my favorite teacher is retiring next year. That makes me feel old, considering he started teaching my freshman year. Anyway, he has worked hard and made a huge difference for many students and I hope his retirement will be relaxing and enjoyable.

On to something else now...

This is the last year all three of my kids will be in grades K-12. That is because my oldest will be graduating next summer and then going to college. I am not ready for this and I do not want to talk about this topic much. It just needed to be said. 

Instead, I really came here to talk about what an uninvolved parent I am. I care about what my kids do at school and how they are doing with their grades, but when Back-to-School Night comes around, I do not attend for any of my kids. I attended one time at my oldest's middle school and it was torturous. Trying to find all the classrooms and then sitting through syllabuses and rules and not understanding what half of the class was even going to be about. So yeah, it was a long and dragged out night and I am not into that. 

Another thing was signing up for middle school and then high school. My husband gets to do all that fun stuff because it just overwhelms me and it will never get done if I am in charge. And don't even get me started on the college process. I actually sat through a virtual meeting because no one else was available to do it at the time. I mostly copied and pasted screenshots from the presentation though. I just can't bring myself to get involved in college application stuff. I trust my son knows what he is doing and my husband can help with that too. 

Don't even get me started on PTA or PTSA or whatever other parent thing you want me to join. I don't sign up for those. The most I do is volunteer to send treats to school with my kids on teacher appreciation days. I just don't have the bandwidth to volunteer. However, last year I offered to help one of the nights at my son's school play and then just stood around doing nothing because they didn't end up actually needing my help. I don't think I'll be doing that again!

I usually do not read the weekly newsletters or listen to the weekly update calls. Those just tend to annoy and overwhelm me. If I need information, I will seek it out. I also don't help with homework because most of it is stuff I forgot from my years of going to school or it is just too complex to even ponder. 

One thing I do, however, is attend IEP meetings for two of my kids. Thankfully, the meetings are pretty straightforward and easy to get through and hearing good things about my kids will never get old! That's about as involved as I get.

I've been through school once and that was more than enough for me. As long as my kids continue to do well at their schools, I'm happy. I don't need to be heavily involved.

I saw this posted on Facebook recently and was amused.
Just change Beyonce to Broadway shows... 😂
(For the record, if it was necessary for me to see the teacher, I would!)

What are your thoughts on school?

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Spotlight: The Most Likely Club

Today we are pleased to be celebrating the publication of Elyssa Friedland's latest novel, The Most Likely Club. Melissa says it is sure to delight fans of Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. You can see her review here. It's the perfect back-to-school read, so definitely add it to your TBR!

In 1997, grunge is king, Titanic is a blockbuster (and Blockbuster still exists), and Thursday nights are for Friends. In Bellport, Connecticut, four best friends and high school seniors are ready to light the world on fire. Melissa Levin, Priya Chowdhury, Tara Taylor, and Suki Hammer are going places. Their yearbook superlatives confirm it: Most Likely to Win the White House, Cure Cancer, Open a Michelin-Starred Restaurant, and Join the Forbes 400.

Fast forward twenty-five years and nothing has gone according to plan as the women regroup at their dreaded high school reunion. When a forgotten classmate emerges at the reunion with a surprising announcement, the friends dig out the yearbook and rethink their younger selves. Is it too late to make their dreams come true? Fueled by nostalgia and one too many drinks, they form a pact to push through their middle-aged angst to bring their teenage aspirations to fruition, dubbing themselves the “Most Likely Girls.”

Through the ensuing highs and lows, they are reminded of the enduring bonds of friendship, the ways our childhood dreams both sustain and surprise us — and why it’s deeply uncool to peak in high school. (Synopsis courtesy of Amazon.)

“A hilarious, delectable, and much-needed time machine back to the nineties.”
—Jo Piazza, bestselling co-author of We Are Not Like Them

“Endearing and immensely readable, Elyssa's Friedland's The Most Likely Club is an ode to female friendship, second chances, and the people who are 'Most Likely' to love us the most.”
—Laura Dave, #1 New York Times bestseller of The Last Thing He Told Me

“Elyssa Friedland writes with heart, depth and humor in this story of four friends exploring what they wanted in high school, and what they have today. Utterly delightful and uplifting!”
—New York Times bestselling author Kristan Higgins

Photo by Brian Marcus

Elyssa Friedland is the author of five novels and a forthcoming picture book. She attended Yale University, where she served as managing editor of the Yale Daily News, and is a graduate of Columbia Law School. She worked as an associate at a major firm before turning to writing full-time. She teaches an undergraduate course at Yale called Contemporary Novel Writing. Her work has been published in The Washington Post, McSweeney’s, LitHub, POPSUGAR, RealSimple.com, Bustle, Modern Bride, New York magazine, Columbia Journalism Review, CBS MarketWatch.com, Yale Alumni Magazine, and more. Elyssa resides in New York City with her husband, three children and puppy.

LAST SUMMER AT THE GOLDEN HOTEL was a Good Morning America Buzz Pick and a Book of the Month selection. It was the OneBook, One Hadassah selection for August 2022 and is currently in its 5th printing. THE FLOATING FELDMANS was a People Magazine “People Pick” and a “SkimmReads” selection and was praised by Cosmopolitan, Bustle, Good Housekeeping, National Geographic, Woman’s Day, Woman’s World, Kirkus, Publisher’s Weekly, Library Journal, Booklist, and more. THE INTERMISSION was praised by The Wall Street Journal, SheReads, PureWow, POPSUGAR, HelloGiggles and featured in USA Today. Her debut novel, LOVE AND MISS COMMUNICATION, was a “best book” in Cosmopolitan, Glamour and InStyle magazines. THE MOST LIKELY CLUB, her fifth novel, will be on sale 9/6/22. THE MUSEUM OF LOST TEETH, her first picture book, will be published in February 2023. She is also a co-author of FIRST STREET, a serialized novel available in electronic and audio formats about four ambitious lawyers clerking at the Supreme Court.

Elyssa loves wine, ice cream, Forensic Files, and texting her friends obsessively. (Bio courtesy of Elyssa's website.)

Visit Elyssa online:
Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram

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Listen to this book on Speechify!

Sara and Melissa Talk About...Graduation

 We've been running a column series (for over two years now!) to get more personal with our readers. This month, we're talking about graduation, since we can both relate to that topic this year.

We're always open to topic suggestions, so please don't hesitate to share those in the comments. We'd also love to know if you can relate to anything we've said or hear your own thoughts on the topic. So don't be shy. :) We look forward to getting to know you as much as we're letting you get to know us. You can find our previous columns here, in case you missed them.

Sara Steven:                                                                                                                               May 12th, 2022 had been a day that was a long time coming for me.                                                                                                                            I finally, FINALLY graduated from college.                                                                                          I hadn’t always known that higher learning was in the cards for me. In fact, I barely made it through my high school years. If you would have asked me if college was in my future even ten years ago, I would have probably said that there was no way in hell I’d ever go back to school. I never felt I was any “good” at it. 

But when my then kindergartener started his first year of elementary school, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my own life. I felt I was at a crossroads. I’d spent over a decade working in property management while living in Nebraska, which I enjoyed a lot, but the circumstances felt different in Arizona. We had moved to the Grand Canyon State in 2015, and I spent the first year working with my youngest son in order to prepare him for kindergarten–I found a homeschool program I could utilize that would help me to teach him his numbers, letters, how to write, how to read…the preschool programs we’d considered that were in person had been full by the time we moved to Arizona, the timing of enrollment so completely different than what I’d been used to in Nebraska. 

And while I felt proud of my son and proud of myself for helping him to achieve the benchmarks he’d needed to start kindergarten, I knew it would mean a change for me, considering his older brother had started his sixth grade year at the same elementary school. 

I decided to try one class at the local community college. I figured if I didn’t like it, I could always leave it there. But I liked it. A lot. So I decided to enroll in two classes the following semester, with the same mindset. It wasn’t until the start of 2018 that I actually buckled down and sought out an advisor who could help me figure out what courses I needed to enroll in, in order to gain my associates degree. I discovered during that meet-up that I could become part of the Pathways program offered through Maricopa Community Colleges, where I could earn my associates through any of the community colleges under the Maricopa umbrella, then transfer to one of the four year institutions here in Arizona. Considering Arizona State University had one of the closest campuses to where I live–ten minutes–I knew that would be the best fit for me and my family.

The girl who had skipped the majority of her junior year of high school, who had become quite familiar with the letter “F” and had thought she was a terrible student, turned out to be an awesome student at the college level. I graduated with an accumulated GPA of 3.9 while in Community college, and a 4.21 GPA at Arizona State University. 

It wasn’t easy. I spent several hours a day on my studies. There were semesters where I juggled five courses–eighteen credits. There were classes that were required, like anything math-related, that frustrated me and felt like torture. But there were writing-inspired classes that filled me with energy and excitement, because I’d felt like I was surrounded by other people (online or in person) who got me. I didn’t do it alone, either. My family, especially my husband, was a huge support. He picked up the slack if need be, and my kids knew if my bedroom door was closed, it most likely meant that Mom was studying. My parents were supportive, my friends let me vent to them when I needed to. I had a really great support system that got me through the four years it has taken me to graduate with honors. 

My father let me know the other day that he’s considering going back to school! The oldest graduate in my class had been seventy-seven, and my father said he’d noticed the man mixed in within the group of graduating students at my convocation ceremony. I believe that it’s never too late. I also hope my boys are a little inspired by their “old” mom going back to school. I like to joke with them and say, “If I can do well in college, and I can’t even remember what I did yesterday, then I know you can do well when you go to college, too.” 

With family

With family and friends

Melissa Amster:                                                                                                  This year, two of my kids are graduating. One is graduating eighth grade and the other is graduating fifth grade. So I will have two kids in high school this fall. (Gasp!) The last time we had a graduation in our family was when my oldest graduated eighth grade in 2020, at the height of the pandemic. They did a virtual graduation and we were thrilled when he won one of the highest awards at his school. 

Eighth grade graduation (at home), 2020
Currently in tenth grade

I think the fifth grade graduation will be the most bittersweet for me as this is my last child to graduate from elementary school. We started there in 2009 when we moved to the DC area and my oldest had recently turned four. They have an amazing pre-K program. My other two kids eventually joined him at this school. They all had the same teacher for second grade, which I thought was really cool, especially since she's one of the best teachers they've had. My younger two also had the same kindergarten teacher. Needless to say, we've had a long history with this school between all three kids and it will be strange for none of them to be going there in the fall. 

Fifth grade graduation, 2019
Graduating eighth grade soon

I haven't had much involvement with my eighth grader's school. He spent part of sixth grade and all of seventh grade learning from home. My fifth grader will be going there in the fall, so maybe I'll be able to get more involved while she's there for the next three years. 

Pre-K graduation, 2016
Graduating fifth grade soon

All I know is that I'm not ready for my oldest to graduate high school, but at least he has two more years to go until then. I'm sure that time will just fly by though, as it always tends to do! In the meantime, I'm going to share a fun memory from my high school graduation. One of my closest friends was a freshman at the time and he was in either band or chorus, but it somehow put him and everyone else in that group close to the front. When I went up to get my diploma, I heard him cheer for me and that just made my day and meant a lot to me. (Clearly it still does if I am talking about it this many years later!)

My high school graduation, with my
friend from Amsterdam

Tell us about the graduations in your life!

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Sara and Melissa Talk About...School

We've been running a column series to get more personal with our readers. This month, with it being back-to-school season, we're talking about our own experiences with going to school. 

We're always open to topic suggestions, so please don't hesitate to share those in the comments. We'd also love to know if you can relate to anything we've said or hear your own thoughts on the topic. So don't be shy. :) We look forward to getting to know you as much as we're letting you get to know us. You can find our previous columns here, in case you missed them.

Melissa Amster:                                                                                                        I know this may come off as me being lazy, but I am sharing part of a post I wrote at my personal blog about my favorite high school teacher. Since I wrote it a long time ago and since people don't visit that blog as often, I wanted everyone here to know about him and the impact he had on my life.

On freshmen orientation day, Mr. Fritz stood out from all the other teachers I met. He had long blond hair that flopped onto his face, and seemed very young and energetic. I only got to see him for ten minutes that day. He told some fascinating stories about his travels and adventures, including time spent in Africa. When I walked into his classroom the next day, there was a man standing at his desk with short blond hair, looking all clean cut and professional. I asked him if he was the substitute. He explained that he was still Mr. Fritz but had just gotten a haircut. I guess the long hair look wasn’t working for his teacher persona...

In the beginning of the year, we had to write a creative paper about Tom Sawyer, the required summer reading. I am not a fan of required reading and was also not a fan of Tom Sawyer. (Not because it’s not chick lit, just because it wasn’t my cup of tea…and this was a mild summer requirement. The rest were worse.) However, I decided to have fun with the assignment. I don’t even remember what I wrote, but apparently Mr. Fritz had a ball with it. He decided to give it to the head coach of the Forensics team and I received a letter a few days later, personally inviting me to join the team. I took them up on their invitation and Mr. Fritz happened to be one of the coaches. I decided to do original comedy, which was bold of me. I didn’t have much to work with, at first, but he helped me make my piece into something I would have fun with throughout the competition season. He also laughed a lot, which gave me the confidence I needed to stick with it.

After winter break, I auditioned for a play. I hadn’t felt comfortable on stage in the past, as I would get all shy and giggly or would have a hard time projecting. However, thanks to Forensics and all the time Mr. Fritz spent coaching me, I felt good about my auditioning abilities and I then landed a part in the play! It was a small part, but there are really no small parts...only small actors. I felt like I could take on the world while being involved with that production. I still got to see Mr. Fritz, as I was in his class again the following semester and he was leading the crew for the play.

I hope Mr. Fritz knows the impact he has had on my life and that he is continuing to have that impact on the lives of other students. A real teacher doesn’t just write on the chalkboard. (Or are they just typing on a computer and magnifying it on a screen these days?) They get to know their students and find ways to bring out their strengths and make school memorable for them. Mr. Fritz exemplifies what a real teacher is to me.

I shortened this post from the original version, which can be found here.

Sara Steven:                                                                                                                                            The school year started early for us Arizonians. My boys were back on July 26th, and my husband and I were more than hopeful for a happy, successful, and safe year. The year prior meant socially distanced, remote learning--something none of us were big fans of. My kids handled it the best way they could, but I think it was really hard on them, not having social interaction with their friends, not being part of the classroom atmosphere they’d come to know so well. 

My fifth grader loved his “meet the teacher” night. That happened roughly a week prior to the first day of school, and he got to meet and hug the teachers he never got to meet in person last year, and see the friends that he hadn’t been in contact with for several months. All of this occurred while wearing a mask boasting a large toothy grin, a find on Amazon, and while we were one of the rarities there that night in wearing our own masks, we were hopeful. So damn hopeful.

We had to pull both of our boys out of their respective schools last week. As of today, there are nearly 70 cases of Covid at my teen’s high school, while the fifth grader has 15 cases at his elementary school. The numbers are increasing every day. The school district sent out an email reiterating that they are doing everything they can--well, everything they’re allowed to do. Wipe down surfaces. Provide hand sanitizer. But I imagine it’s hard to control a virus that is also easily spread by coughs and sneezes and droplets, when there are only a handful of children wearing masks.

It’s frustrating and heartbreaking, really. I keep flashing back to the look on my little guy’s face, teary-eyed, when he got to see the educators and friends in person who have shaped his life over the past several years. The last thing we ever wanted was to have to remove either boy from those crucial experiences. But our youngest has the kind of asthma where a cold sends him to the doctor’s office with a round of bronchitis, so it’s hard to fathom what Covid might do. I don’t even want to go there.

Thankfully, our school district offers up a virtual academy option, and both boys are familiar with the format since it’s how they learned last year. But it’s riddled with new challenges, considering the academy is its own school, so there have been makeup assignments to catch up on for a couple of weeks of missed work, and navigating new teachers and goals and deadlines, not to mention a change in scenery and social interaction. It’s been a learning process for them and for me.

I start my final year at ASU this Thursday, so I’m trying to figure out how to handle five courses of my own and assist my boys, how to try to keep the younger one on task, how to make sure we still get screen-free breaks and lunches, how to make sure I’m there when they have questions or need help with something. The teachers are there for the kids, but they’ve got their hands full, too.

Our hope is to see how the rest of the semester pans out, that the numbers will go down significantly. That we can have the boys go back to their respective schools with the start of second semester. But I don’t know. With everything going on right now, I just don’t know. I think no matter where or how our children attend school, this is not an easy year for anyone. 

Tell us about your school memories, experiences, etc.

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Book Review and Giveaway: Mom Walks: Starting in 5th

By Melissa Amster

Can a mother-daughter relationship survive fifth-grade mean girl drama? Yes, if the mom's best friends have anything to say about it.
 
When Dawn learns her oldest daughter, Kayli, is put in the same class as a manipulative and cunning queen bee, she knows she must step up her mom game and fast. Feeling ill-equipped to handle the situation, Dawn turns to her two best mom friends for advice during their weekly morning walks. At first, Dawn's grateful for their suggestions. They have similar-aged kids and a much better pulse on what's going on at school. But when their well-intentioned guidance only exacerbates the situation, Dawn's desperation and frustration grow as her relationship with Kayli deteriorates. Facing irreparable damage to their mother-daughter relationship, Dawn must decide if she'll continue to follow her friends' advice or begin to trust her own gut in how to best parent Kayli. 
 
Mom Walks: Starting in 5th is the first book in a women's fiction series that follows a mom and her two best mom friends as they navigate the chaotic trenches of parenting tweens. If you enjoy light, heart-warming stories about mother-daughter relationships and friendship, this book is for you. (Courtesy of Amazon.)

When I first heard about this novel, I thought it was about a mom walking out on her kid's class to take a stand against something. Once I started it, I realized I interpreted the title all wrong! 

I really enjoyed this novel. I could definitely relate to Dawn, especially when she reflects on her childhood. I totally understand about being bullied by mean girls and the impact it can still have later in life. I also can sympathize as a parent, with having a child close in age to Kayli. I liked Dawn's friendship with Meg and Naomi and the struggles she had with Kayli seemed genuine. It made me miss what life was like before the pandemic though, like getting together with friends and all the school activities and events. It also made me think about the walks I used to take with one of my friends. Hopefully we can get back there soon enough! 

I've been recommending this novel to my friends and am glad to recommend it to our readers, as well.  I'm already looking forward to the next book in this series!

Movie (or TV series) casting ideas:

Dawn: Courtney Henggeler

Naomi: Gillian Jacobs

Meg: Nora Zehetner

Ben: Niall Matter

Elynn: Katee Sackhoff

Thanks to Rebecca Prenevost for the book in exchange for an honest review. She has one signed copy to give away!

How to win: Use Rafflecopter to enter the giveaway. If you have any questions, feel free to contact us. If you have trouble using Rafflecopter on our blog, enter the giveaway here. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway ends December 15th at midnight EST.

A lesson from Jeanne Martinet and a book giveaway

**Giveaway is now closed**


Today we welcome author Jeanne Martinet and her first novel, "Etiquette for the End of the World." Jeanne Martinet is the author of seven other books, including widely acclaimed "The Art of Mingling"--which has sold more than 150,000 copies in the U.S. alone. Her books have been published in the UK, France, Italy, Germany, China, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Israel and Poland. Jeanne has been featured in such publications as: The New York Times, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Newsweek, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, The Washington Post, The San Francisco Chronicle and The Huffington Post. Martinet has shared her humor and mingling know-how on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including "The Today Show," "The CBS Early Show," NPR's "Morning Edition" and WNYC's "The Leonard Lopate Show."

Thanks to Astral Road, we have THREE paperback galleys of "Etiquette for the End of the World" to give away to some lucky readers in the US.

Visit Jeanne at her website, Facebook and Twitter pages.

From Non-fiction to Fiction: How Novel-writing Snuck up on Me

By Jeanne Martinet

"Etiquette for the End of the World" is my first novel, and nobody is more surprised than I am that I ending up writing it.

Over the years, I have written, almost exclusively, humorous non-fiction on the subject of social mores and etiquette (including one extremely successful book, "The Art of Mingling," published by St. Martin’s). But somehow no matter how many copies I sold, people would say to me, “Okay that’s fine, but when are you going to write a novel?” Having edited many novels throughout my publishing career—from brilliant ones to bad ones—my answer was always, “A novel? Not me! Not on your life. It’s too hard, and too risky.”

However, I did publish a book in 2001 ("Truer Than True Romance") that was a departure from my usual non-fiction; it was a spoof on the corny love comics of the 50s and 60s. While it was not, at least from a financial standpoint, a success, it turned out to be the most fun I ever had writing. I remember laughing out loud alone in my apartment while I was working on it and thinking to myself, “Oh, this is why people love writing so much. I get it!”

So about two years ago, after the publication of "Life is Friends," a book in which I said pretty much everything I had left to say about the art of socializing, I decided I really wanted to try my hand again at a straight humor book. I longed to once more feel that “following your bliss” feeling I had felt when I was writing "Truer Than True Romance." That’s when I began what was supposed to be a very dark spoof on a self-help guide, an Emily Post-esque rule book for people living in the aftermath of global destruction. The working title was "Etiquette for the End of the World."  It contained chapters like, “Boundaries in the Bunker” and “Cannibalism: Yes or No?” I envisioned elegant ladies on the cover, all dressed up and sitting around a table with a silver tea service, except they would all be wearing gas masks.

For this project--partly for inspiration, and partly just as a way to procrastinate--I started researching different apocalyptic theories, especially the ones centered around the Mayan calendar date of December 21, 2012. (Procrastination, as most of us know, can be a fertile arena as long as you don’t let guilt derail you). I became completely fascinated with how drawn so many people seemed to be to the idea of an Armageddon or “end-times” of some kind, and I started seeing the idea of “end of the world” as a metaphor for personal crises. That’s when the persona I was using for the “author” of the guide, Tess Eliot, began to evolve, to take up more space in my imagination, and soon—with a little push from my agent—it became apparent I was really headed towards writing a novel. Almost against my will, to tell the truth. (Eventually, the original advice-book spoof I had started was folded into my novel.)

But fiction was not that far a stretch. Whether it was a self-help book or my “Citiquette” newspaper column, what I always enjoyed most was the painting of the scenes and anecdotes I would use to illustrate my advice. These scenes were often exaggerated or pieced together from several actual incidents, or even totally fabricated. (I mean, I may be “Miss Mingle,” but nobody can go to that many parties.) Always, my first mission was to entertain people with funny stories. So I felt I was already writing fiction, in a way.

That’s not to say it did not take me another year and a half to figure out how to fully develop characters, to properly pace, to sustain the plot, etc. I now have even more respect for novelists than I did before. And I am now, once again, a beginner, starting over in a whole new genre. I have my fingers and toes crossed that people will like "Etiquette..." Because writing novels is certainly what I would like to do from now on.

Special thanks to Jeanne for a new perspective on writing and Astral Road for sharing her book with our readers.

How to win "Etiquette for the End of the World":
Tell us an etiquette lesson you'd like to teach to children or teenagers. (One entry per person.) Please include your e-mail address or another way to reach you if you win.

US only. Giveaway ends October 2nd at midnight EST.

Back to school with Amy and the Melissas

Since it's "Back to School" month at CLC, we're talking about our favorite school moments and other thoughts on the topic. This week, Amy and the Melissas are here to share the lessons they learned.

Amy:

Extracurricular activities:
My predominant extracurricular activity growing up was dancing. I started taking ballet in first grade and by the time I was in 8th grade I was also doing jazz and point. For one semester in 10th grade I played tennis and also volleyball.

Did you go to summer school? If so, for what class?
The summer before my junior year in college I took bio/anatomy crash course. All I can say is that it was a killer.

Did you ever study abroad? If so, where?
Unfortunately I never studied abroad but if I could turn back time and I would have definitely done so in Spain and Italy. I took Spanish in HS and college so I would have loved to live in a Spanish culture for a little while.

Favorite TV show about school:
One of my favorite TV shows about school is Saved by the Bell. This show was the bomb!

Favorite sport to watch or play:
I wasn't into sports but I do have to say that I loved dodgeball. It was the only time I got excited during gym class.

Melissa A:

Extracurricular activities:
I was involved in speech team (a.k.a. Forensics) throughout high school. I loved going to tournaments, even though I was better at flirting than I was in my event. :) I also was involved with theater, but mostly behind the scenes.

My hair looks about the same now!

Favorite yearbook photo:
My senior yearbook photo. I had my hair and makeup done professionally and tried out three different outfits. I liked the one with the vest over all black clothing.

Favorite TV show about school:
Saved by the Bell. I know it was super cheesy, but I just loved it anyway. No one can do drug addiction PSA episodes the way SBTB did it with Jessie and her caffeine pill overdose.

I also love Degrassi High. That show was classic and I'd race home from school every day to catch the episodes just as they were about to come on. It was so honest and real.

Oddly enough, both shows have "Wake up in the morning" in/as the first line of their theme songs.

Proudest achievement during my academic career:
Receiving the Len Gustin Theater Service award during junior year. I didn't get into any plays (aside from one freshman year), but I assistant directed a couple and helped behind the scenes on others. It was so gratifying to get this award and be recognized for my hard work!

Interesting fact about my high school:
The Madonna Bar Mitzvah boy went to my HS. I knew him too. I'd drive him home from speech team practice and we'd sing along with the Joseph... soundtrack. I also remember him listening to my Little Mermaid watch all the time because it played "Under the Sea." He was always really nice and I loved that he embraced who he was and didn't hide from it. People respected him for it!

Melissa P:

Best year of school and why:
My best year of school was also the most difficult. It was my senior year of high school. I moved to Scottsdale from Chicago just before school started and I was terrified. The first day I made multiple friends that I still consider close friends to this day. Although it was hard to leave the life I knew for so long, it felt like a year long vacation filled with shopping, pool parties, dates, football games, dances, and road trips. I wouldn't change it for anything because it was like a test run for the following year when I would be going off to college and starting over again. I realized a lot about myself and my character and that I could make new friends easily while still keeping the old. Now I have friends from all walks of life that I consider near and dear and I don't think that will ever change. Almost anywhere I go in the country (and some parts of the world) I have a friend there. Melissa A. is a perfect example, we grew up on the same block in Chicago :)

Extracurricular activities:
I participated in many different activities. In grade school I played tennis, soccer, and softball. I also was in ice skating, dance, gymnastics and brownies. In high school I narrowed it down to dance, track, and drama club (I even student directed a play). I was also in an improv group at my high school in Chicago and we went around to all of the freshmen and sophomore classes to teach them about safe driving through different comedic skits. In Arizona, I was on the very first girls soccer team at my school. I played tennis into my early twenties, but most of the year its too hot to play in arizona! I also kept dancing through college and I still do ballet now.

Favorite required reading book:
This is easy. "The Great Gatsby." It's still one of my favorite books to this day. I have always said (as Melissa A. knows) that I was born in the wrong era. I should have been a young adult in the roaring twenties! I'm obsessed with the clothes, the parties and the way women took on the world in a way they never had before and really pushed the limits.

Did you date anyone?
I did. I dated a few guys in Chicago, one seriously, until I moved to Arizona. After I moved, I went on a lot of dates! The benefits of being the new girl from a big city in a small town!

Favorite annual event:
Homecoming. The game and the dance that followed. My boyfriend in Chicago was one of the star football players and every year after the game (it was more fun when we won!) we would get a huge group of the football players and cheerleaders and Pom Pom dancers and go to one of the senior football players houses and have a pool party. Then the night of the dance we would all rent hotel rooms and have a big after-party! Hopefully my parents aren't reading this! I am definitely one of those annoying girls that thought high school was so much fun!

My 17th birthday

Sarah Jio is head of the class and has a book to give away!

Introduction by
Melissa Amster

**Giveaway is now closed**

Sarah Jio is now the second author named Sarah to visit Chick Lit Central for a third time. (Actually, she's now the second author to visit this many times in general.) Not only is this her third time here, but she also has a third novel out in two years and is a mom of three boys. She's overall proof that good things come in threes! We're thrilled to have her back, and on her pub day no less, as "Blackberry Winter" is a hauntingly beautiful and emotional novel that was difficult to put down. She's also a genuinely nice person and we've enjoyed getting to know her over the past couple of years. And we're even more excited to learn that she has a fourth novel coming out next spring! Sarah is a writing powerhouse and has been since her debut with "The Violets of March." We know her next novel, "The Last Camellia" will not be her last!

She's here to chat about school with us and thanks to Penguin, we have THREE (notice a trend here) copies of "Blackberry Winter" for some lucky US readers!

You can find Sarah on Facebook, Twitter and her website.

Favorite subject: 
Growing up, I always enjoyed anything related to writing and books (big surprise, right?!). In the first grade, I wrote a book called "A Tugboat Dream" as a class project, and it won a "Young Author" award. I remember being so proud and excited about this as a six year-old, and I think it has something to do with my grown-up career!

Favorite elementary school memory: 
Definitely fourth grade, in Mr. Raymond's class, when he'd read us stories after recess. We'd all sit around on the floor eating red licorice (he was a cool teacher who let us have treats) while he read books like "James and the Giant Peach" aloud. It was magical.

Interesting fact about your high school: 
I went to a private high school, which was very small and so the students were like family. I got interested in debate, and competed in several forensic events, which was really fun and, I think, helped me make the case to my parents that my 11:00 PM curfew was so unfair. :)

Fictional school you'd love to attend (i.e. "Sweet Valley High"): 
Oh goodness, I don't know. I suppose I always thought it would be pretty cool to hang out in the 90210 zip code, but thank goodness I stayed down to earth and real in 98370 (that would be good ol' Poulsbo, Washington)!

Favorite movie about school: 
Hmm, probably "The Breakfast Club" or "Pretty in Pink"—love Molly Ringwald. I was born in 1978, so she always seemed so very cool and grown-up to me.

What did you buy/bring for lunch every day? 
Such a fun question! I had very mature (and somewhat odd) tastes for a child. While other kids would bring PB&J, I requested that my mom pack soups in thermoses. I especially loved Chicken Gumbo. I also went through a phase of eating pickle-and-cheese sandwiches every day for three years straight.

Did you take a foreign language class? If so, what? Do you still speak that language? 
I took French in the 8th grade, and missed out on traveling to Paris with the class (still wish I had been able to go), and then took it again in college. I also took Spanish in high school. Sadly, I am not very fluent in either, but I do have the embarrassing knack of mixing the two languages together, which was very embarrassingly obvious when I attempted to order a meal at a café in France and somehow used the word "dinero." Oops!

Favorite school play that you saw or participated in: 
I acted in a murder mystery in high school, and I got to play the murderer (a sweet-seeing secretary named Betty, if I'm remembering correctly—it's been a while!). I don't remember anything about the plot, but I do remember wearing a 1940's pink suit with a ruffled collar and uttering the word "pomegranate" several times. Hmm, there could be a novel in here somewhere.

Special thanks to Sarah for visiting us again and Penguin for sharing "Blackberry Winter" with our readers.

How to win "Blackberry Winter":

Please comment below with your e-mail address. (Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.) 

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please tell us: Which fictional school would you like to attend (from books, TV shows, movies, etc.)?
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Follow us on Twitter and/or Pinterest.
6. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

US only. Giveaway ends October 2nd at midnight EST.

For another chance to win, visit Chick Lit is Not Dead by 10/2. (US/Canada)

Maryjane & Caryn Beth school us on publishing, plus a book giveaway



Left to right: Maryjane and Caryn Beth

Introduction by Tracey Meyers

No matter what it is, a relationship, job, etc., getting rejected hurts and can take a toll on ones self-esteem.

After getting "DUMPED", Maryjane Fahey and Caryn Beth Rosenthal decided instead of getting upset, they would help others get over being rejected.  The result is the book, "DUMPED."

With both Maryjane and Caryn Beth having a background in writing, putting together this break-up bible was right up their alley!  

Throughout the process, they both learned a lot about how to take a book concept and turn it into a reality. They are now the co-authors of DUMPED, a breakup bible for women to get off their behinds and over their exes in record time.  AVAILABLE NOW.

Today, Maryjane and Caryn Beth teach us how to turn our dreams of writing a book into a reality.

To learn more about Maryjane and Caryn Beth, visit them at their website, Facebook, Twitter and You Tube.

Thanks to Sellers Publishing, we have two copies of "DUMPED" to giveaway to readers located in the US or Canada.

JUST DO IT
By Maryjane Fahey

Damn that was a good slogan...and so true! When you have a book percolating inside of you – just do it. Don’t get worn out by the publishing world before you even start. Don’t read all the depressing stats on how the industry is in the trash. Just write your book, then think about how to market it when it’s in some kind of tangible form.

Yes, there are lots of decisions to be made like: do you get an agent? Do you self-publish? I can only share what my coauthor, Caryn Beth Rosenthal, and I decided to do and – and we just launched our book, DUMPED, on September 12th with a killer agent and publisher in tow! Woohoo!

We knew we wanted an agent. We knew we did not want the hassle of self-publishing or to have our already crammed closets stuffed with our DUMPED books as well as fuck-me pumps. We knew we were first time authors and needed the support – physically and psychically – of an agent and a publishing house.

We also knew that, in our case, we had a kernel of an idea for a book that was unique. How did we know that? We researched it – thoroughly! And knew our subject and market – intimately.

Caryn and I went through tough breakups: I was with my guy for 7 years and got dumped in a phone call – blind sighted. Caryn left her guy after 10 years...never easy.  Separately, we had each started working on the huge task of getting our “UMPH” back. Together, since we broke up within one week of each other, we were determined to reclaim our fun sexy selves again – and were lucky enough to have each other to lean on. And it took us a year...a bitch of a year. We exchanged movies, astrologists, numerologists, shrinks – and books. But the books we read for guidance were decidedly un-inspirational. They were written by men to begin with – what’s up with that?...and often took us to page 149 for a first tip...not good when you’re desperate for a best friend with some words of wisdom. Overall, the books we found were corny, self-indulgent and sappy. SO not us! Now, there were exceptions…and they are noted in our book. We simply did the grunt work for our readers!

One year after our breakups, when we were celebrating our “brand new spankin’ lives”, it hit us: we needed to share what we learned with other women by writing a fun, sassy, empowering, DIRECT guidebook that would be the opposite of all the self-help tomes we wasted our time reading. We wanted to give our readers a much-needed kick in the ass, and a laugh when they needed it most.

Here’s what we did to get DUMPED out into the world:

1. Wrote the whole damn thing
Instead of writing a proposal, we spent three months writing the entire book. Why bother with a proposal when we knew that the TONE of our book and the attitude would be what differentiated it.

2. Made a dummy
See it in your mind? Then make it!
We immediately saw the “brand” and knew exactly what the bold graphic approach should be – the exact opposite to the dozens of self-help sappy pastel books we’d been snoozing through in our post-breakup recovery!

Now, here I admit that I had the advantage of being a designer, but think about your advantages: you have a pal who is a kick ass designer? Buy him/her a drink or three...schmooze, baby!

3. Shopped it–relentlessly!
We printed ten mock-up books to show to potential agents and then lurked around bookstores, researching. How? Look at other books in your genre (especially ones you admire). Who did the authors acknowledge in their pages? Usually, their agents...

4. Found that agent!
Three months after the initial mock-ups, we signed with our agent. We know that handing him a tactile dummy made all the difference. Was it easy? No. But we did have a couple of interested parties. And we hustled...be relentless...be shameless.

5. What about a trailer?
Though no publisher was bagged yet, we knew we wanted to make a sassy trailer that would draw attention to the sauciness of DUMPED. Caryn is an actress, and had access to all of her fabulous actress pals. Between her pals and our connects in the film world, we made our trailer on a shoestring. It was great fun to do...and made us stand out!

6. Got those endorsements 

We went after A-list authors we admired who we felt would “get” the book, then sent our DUMPED dummy out to them. And – voila! – we  got amazing advance endorsements...from Rory Freedman, coauthor of Skinny Bitch; Michael Hogan, Executive Entertainment Editor of Huffington Post, and best selling authors Amy Sohn, and Jill Conner Browne. Work it!

7. And of course...the inevitable “platform”! 

You will hear about “platform” in every meeting you take. You may as well embrace it. I was a dinosaur and resisted for the first 3 months. Then, after the 11th meeting, I realized I had to get on board. So glad I did. Hire yourself a 20-something who thinks differently from you and proceed to pick the kid’s brains! Read everything about it, research the best for inspiration. Set up twitter, FB, a website, pinterest and...BINGO...you’ll have the much ballyhoo’d platform.

Most of all - have fun with it all and remember your BRAND and tone! Get exposure NOW! TA DAH....you will be a platformed writer....who will find that publisher, agent....and hey...a film or reality series...why not?

JUST DO IT…and enjoy the ride.

Special thanks to Maryjane (and Caryn) for an inspiring lesson and Sellers Publishing for sharing "Dumped" with our readers.

How to win "DUMPED":
Please comment below with your e-mail address. (Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.)

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please tell us: How do you get over being rejected (whether it's dating, a job, etc.)?
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine
 too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Follow us on Twitter and/or Pinterest.
6. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

US/Canada only. Ends September 26th at midnight EST.

Lucie Simone's thirst for education, plus a book giveaway

**Giveaway is now closed**

Today we welcome back Lucie Simone and her latest novel, "Picture Perfect." Lucie has a passion for travel, yoga, and writing. She has a degree in Journalism, a Master of Fine Arts in Television Production, and is a certified yoga teacher registered with Yoga Alliance. Her love of comedy resulted in a stint studying improvisation, which, ironically enough, taught her to be a better writer. Her short story, "A Taste of Italy," won the New York Book Festival competition for best e-book and is a bestseller at Amazon UK. The release of her debut novel, "Hollywood Ending," a romantic comedy about life in Hollywood for the not-so-rich-and-famous, marked the launch of her small press, Simon and Fig, which publishes Chick Lit, Lad Lit and Women’s Fiction exclusively. Lucie lives in Los Angeles.

To learn more about Lucie visit her website, Facebook and Twitter pages.

Thanks to Lucie, we have TWO e-books of "Picture Perfect" to give away to some lucky readers anywhere in the world!

What's Cool about School!
It’s September, and to a lot of folks, that means it’s Back-to-School time. When I was a kid, I dreaded the end of summer and the return to school, to waking up at 6am, to riding the school bus, to doing homework, to taking tests, to eating cafeteria lunches. I was desperate to prolong my summer vacation. Summer was this blissful retreat when the sun was bright and the grass was lush. When making a pitcher of Kool-Aid and lounging by the pool (even if it was only five feet in diameter and twelve inches deep) was the only thing on the agenda. Reading Judy Blume books and catching fireflies at night. Jumping through sprinklers on hot days and staying up late to watch scary movies in the den.

But my mom always knew how to make the transition to a new school year a little less painful. It usually involved a trip to the mall and a burger from Orange Julius. A few quarters for the arcade and a new pair of shoes. And before long, I’d be excited to start wearing long pants again. I’d look forward to meeting new kids in my classes and filling my Trapper Keeper with paper and pens. Wrapping my books in disassembled paper bags and drawing pictures on them.

And once I actually got to school, I somehow managed to enjoy myself. Goofing off with my friends at recess, exchanging notes in the back of class, whispering over who the cutest boy was, making papier-maché volcanoes and dioramas out of shoeboxes. Sure, there were things I didn’t like about it. Math, for instance. And there was always one teacher who needed an attitude adjustment. You know, the crotchety old lady who smelled like bug spray and seemed hell bent on terrorizing everyone into submission. But overall, returning to school was fun.

In fact, I loved school so much that I didn’t quit after high school. I didn’t even quit after college, going on to pursue my master’s degree. And I would probably still be in school today if I had the time for it. I’d study all sorts of things that I fluffed off during my schooling years. I’d study world religion, philosophy, French poetry, renaissance art, Greek mythology and the Russian language. Why? Because I somehow graduated with a Master of Fine Arts only to discover how much I don’t know...about life, history, art, other cultures, and so much else that makes up our world. And of course, let’s not forget all the Back-to-School paraphernalia I’d get to play with, too! I know I would have a blast filling up my Trapper Keeper with gel pens, subject dividers and college-rule paper. Not to mention the sparkly stickers that would adorn the front. I am a girlie girl, after all.

What about you? Would you go back to school if you could? And what would you study?

Special thanks to Lucie for reminding us about why school can be fun and sharing "Picture Perfect" with our readers. Thanks also to Chick Lit Plus for including us on Lucie's book tour!

How to win "Picture Perfect":
Please comment below with your e-mail address. (Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.) 

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please tell us: If you could go back to school now, what kinds of classes would you take?
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Follow us on Twitter and/or Pinterest.
6. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

Giveaway ends September 24th at midnight EST.

http://www.clpblogtours.com/2012/08/picture-perfect-by-lucie-simone.html