Chick Lit Cheerleader: Elfish

Has Jen survived the holiday madness, or is there more in store? Find out in this month's Chick Lit Cheerleader post....

Starting in 2016, Jen will be visiting us every other month (alternating with our Go-to-Gay), so she's taking a break in January and will be back in February.





Not On My Shelf, You Elf!

Last year, someone – ahem, my mother – thought it would be a brilliant idea to buy my daughter, Gracie, an Elf On the Shelf for Christmas. There he was, in a box under the tinseled Christmas tree, all decked out in his red long-johned glory. Just the memory makes me shudder. And not only did I want to roll my eyes, but I also wanted to know what it would look like if I helicopter tossed (Imagine throwing your golf club, Frisbee style, after too many swings and misses … you got it!) that bad boy into the cornfield that bordered my parents’ subdivision. Before you relegate me to the naughty list, please allow me to explain.

I haven’t gone humbuggy or grinchy when it comes to Christmas holiday cheer, so never fear! My heart has not shrunk three sizes, nor am I making sure Santa stuffs my stocking with coal this year. I pass zero judgment on homes that house this elf over the holidays. The honest truth is I cannot have one more thing to be beholden to in my life, and that includes a mischievous elf. The glorified assistant to the jolly man with the long, white beard isn’t someone I have time to entertain or babysit, for that matter.

Photo credit: Stephanie Bossung

He’s just plain naughty! I mean, have you seen all the rotten things he does splashed across social media? From making snow angels in mounds of flour on kitchen countertops, to performing totally inappropriate acts with a toothbrush, this is a little dude who needs to be immediately enrolled in military academy. I already have three children to keep an eye on. This elf requires an extreme level of supervision that I can’t muster at this juncture. Turn your back for a brief moment, and he’s getting funky with the hot coco mix. His antics? They’re too much to handle.

His sneaky endeavors don’t even compare to the number one reason I can’t let this vertically challenged dude in my house. This elf is a complete snitch! A tattler. He has loose lips that sink Christmas wishes. This guy watches everything that goes on in your home, then teleports to Santa to give him the dish. Who needs people like that in your life? My kids narc on one another day in and day out. I don’t need another tattletale under my roof, especially one that could jeopardize my Christmas wish list. Because in all reality, I’m not perfect – far, far from it. I already know that I might have a led foot and speed from time-to-time. I also know that I might’ve pretended once … OK, Ok, maybe more like five times in the month of August that it wasn’t me who ate the last chocolate chip cookie in the house. The last thing I need is more guilt heaped upon my head that this little home invader is on a mission from Santa.

One little caveat. This little guy wasn’t my gift. He was my daughter’s. She saw him under the tree, hugged and kissed her grandma, and thanked her profusely and that’s the way the cookie crumbles, isn’t it? As Christmas morning elapsed, we gathered our treasures preparing to return to our home. Gracie collected her new toys, trinkets, and whatnots and took them to the car. I noticed out of the corner of my eye her little elf remained under the tree. “Gracie, you forgot your elf!” I reminded her. She then gave me the universal “Shh…” sign, her finger to her lips, eyes wide.

Once in the car, I said, “Gracie why did you shush me about the elf?”

“Mom, that little guy is a creeper! He stares at you all day memorizing everything you do. And he’s a Santa snitch, too! Why would I ever want something like that in my house? It’s just wrong,” she lectured.

And as Paul Harvey coined, that my dear CLC friends is the rest of the story. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, happiest of holidays, and nothing but peace and joy in 2016.

Photo credit: Stephanie Bossung

Jen Tucker is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt. In September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at Twitter, Facebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed them. check out her previous Chick Lit Cheerleader posts here.

Book Review: Ask Him Why

By Sara Steven

A war had just been declared in Iraq. It was a tumultuous time for so many of us in 2003. For Ruth and her little brother, Aubrey, the war hit very close to home. Their older brother Joseph was active duty, and had already deployed out. When he returns home early from his deployment, none of them could fathom the utter turmoil that would come from it.

In Ask Him Why, nothing is as it seems. We’re led to believe that the reason for Joseph’s early return, the reason he’s been dishonorably discharged from the military, is fueled by cowardice. He was given a direct order and had backed out, not only disobeying, but encouraging other military personnel to follow his lead. It’s an all out mutiny, and in the eyes of the military, the public and even his own family, Joseph must pay the price. But is he really a coward?

Told from Ruth’s and Aubrey’s perspectives, this story begins where Joseph’s story is left unfinished. What happens to a family under severe public scrutiny? Is there a way to escape the paparazzi, news cameras, the judgement from everyone around you, even when you’re not the one at fault? When Joseph disappears for nearly a decade, it’s hard on Ruth and Aubrey. In so many ways, they’ve been left to deal with the fall out, the pain of losing their much adored brother and never really measuring up in the eyes of society.

Both children are haunted by the past, even ten years later when Joseph suddenly reappears. So much has changed, yet nothing has changed. Will they ever be able to forgive? Will Joseph ever be able to forgive himself?

I enjoyed Ask Him Why immensely. I could appreciate the realism behind each character’s struggle, trying to come to grips with their flawed lives as best they can. We live in a world where our ideas and opinions are viewed as black and white, and this story lends to the fact that in reality, it’s shades of gray that holds us together. If only other people could recognize that.

Thanks to BookSparks for the book in exchange for an honest review. This is part of their Cozy Reads blog tour.

More by Catherine Ryan Hyde:

Guest Book Review: Girls Who Travel

By Amber Myers

Kika Shores wishes she could just travel around the world. But she has these pesky things called bills. She was able to go on a yearlong backpacking tour where she met Lochlon, a man from Ireland. But all good things must come to an end, and Kika returns to her job—and then is fired soon after.

Lucky for Kika, she’s hired to be a nanny in London for two girls (Mina and Gwen) who are thirteen and seven. Kika takes the offer and off she goes. Obviously working for rich people isn’t easy—and she has to deal with the moods of a teenager. She also meets Aston, the neighbor, who is mysterious and…well, handsome. But what about Lochlon, who is planning on visiting?

Girls Who Travel, the debut novel from Nicole Trilivas, was an enjoyable read. I liked Kika—she’s sarcastic and has a foul mouth—me too, Kika. Me too. I also liked how Kika struggled with her feelings for Aston, while knowing she had a strong connection with Lochlon. I’ve always been thrilled by a good love triangle. Kika had a good relationship with the girls she looked after—I have a teenager, so I was amused reading about Kika’s interaction with Mina. Trust me, mood swings are real. Kika also had to deal with Gwen’s high energy. My daughter is 8 with high energy, so I know how it goes. Not easy. At least Kika is getting paid for it.

If you like reading books by Marian Keyes or Sophie Kinsella, this is the book for you. I found myself smiling, giggling, and going, “Pick HIM!” as I read this. I look forward to Nicole Trilivas’ next book.

Can I go on a yearlong backpacking trip now?

Thanks to Berkley for the book in exchange for an honest review.

Enter to win a copy from Teddy Rose Book Reviews! (US only. Ends tomorrow.)

Amber Myers is a military wife and mom to a son with Aspergers and a daughter who is dramatic. She blogs over at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Post At A Time and loves to read and write when her children allow it.

Spotlight: Hot Stuff: Surfing Love

Hot Stuff: Surfing Love 

by  Carla Caruso, Maria Lewis, Alli Sinclair, & Tess Woods
Publisher: AUS Impulse 

BUY NOW:

Amazon • Amazon UK • Amazon AU • Amazon CA • iBooks • Google • Kobo

Synopsis:

Hot sun, warm bodies, tight skin, electricity on the air … four top romance authors give you their take on summer.

From Carla Caruso – A chance meeting with a pro-surfer on an island getaway …
From Maria Lewis – The world of women’s surfing throws two recent bedmates together …
From Alli Sinclair – A world-famous performer finds her heart and a way to fight her demons in Rio de Janeiro …
From Tess Woods – A Cornish beach retreat proves a full reawakening …

Carla Caruso was born in Adelaide, Australia, and only ‘escaped’ for three years to work as a magazine journalist and stylist in Sydney. Previously, she was a gossip columnist and fashion editor at Adelaide’s daily newspaper, The Advertiser. She has since freelanced for titles including Woman’s Day and Shop Til You Drop. These days, in between writing romantic comedy novels, she plays mum to twin lads Alessio and Sebastian with hubby James. Her books include the ‘Astonvale’ rom-com mystery series (kicking off with A Pretty Mess), Starcrossed, and Unlucky for Some. Visit Carla at her website, Facebook, Twitter, and her blog.

Maria Lewis is a journalist and author based in Sydney, Australia. Having spent a large part of PastedGraphic-1her teens touring Australia as a sponsored surfer, she leapt at the opportunity to be part of the Hot Stuff sexy surfer anthology – because abs *grunts*. Getting her start as a police and crime reporter at a local newspaper, Maria soon transitioned into writing about film and entertainment for publications such as The Daily Mail, New York Post, The Daily and Sunday Telegraph, Empire magazine, Penthouse, Junkee, WHO Weekly, Huffington Post and many more. A journalist for over a decade, she also regularly appears as a pop culture commentator on television and radio. She’s the co-host and producer of the Eff Yeah Film & Feminism podcast. Her debut novel – urban fantasy series Who’s Afraid? – is set for release on January 12 in Australia through Hachette and worldwide on July 14 through Little Brown Books and Piatkus Fiction. She can be found tweeting too much at @MovieMazz, on Facebook, and her website.

Alli Sinclair is a multi award-winning author who spent her early adult years travelling the globe, intent on becoming an Indiana Jones in heels. She scaled mountains in Nepal, Argentina, and Peru, rafted the Ganges, and rode a camel in the Sahara. Argentina and Peru became her home for a few years and when she wasn’t working as a mountain or tour guide, Alli could be found in the dance halls dancing the tango, salsa, merengue, and samba. All of these adventures made for fun storytelling and this is when she discovered her love of writing.
Alli’s stories combine her passion for exotic destinations, the quirks of human nature, and the belief that everyone has an adventure waiting to unfold. Alli’s next releases will be Under The Spanish Stars, available in February, 2016 (Harlequin MIRA Australia) and Midnight Serenade (Kensington Publishing) will be available in July, 2016.
Alli volunteers as an author role model with Books in Homes, promoting literacy and reading amongst young Australians. To find out more about Alli, please visit her at Facebook, Twitter, and her website.

Tess Woods is a physiotherapist who lives in Perth, Australia with one husband, two children, one dog and one cat who rules over all of them. Her first novel, Love at First Flight, released by HarperCollins in April 2015 received worldwide critical acclaim and hit the best-seller charts in Australia, being nominated for Book of the Year in the AusRom Today Reader’s Choice Awards and Tess being nominated for Best New Author. Tess is currently writing her second full-length novel, Flat White with One. When she isn’t working or being a personal assistant to her kids, Tess enjoys chatting with her readers online, reading and all kinds of grannyish pleasures like knitting, baking, drinking tea, watching Downton Abbey and tending to the veggie patch. You can learn more about Tess on her website and Facebook.

Book Review: 7 Years Bad Sex

By Melissa Amster

Nicky Wells impressed me with her "Rock Star Romance" series, so when she decided to go a different direction with her storytelling prowess, I was definitely interested in seeing what else she could do. Her most recent novel, 7 Years Bad Sex, is a creative tale of a couple cursed by the inability to consummate their marriage.

One wedding. One curse? Disaster ever after…

A seven-years-bad-sex curse? Surely not! Yet something went wrong when rock singer Casey and drummer Alex got married on that beautiful yacht anchored off St Tropez in the south of France. Something went badly wrong. For even on their wedding night, the young couple discovers a complete and somewhat surprising inability to make love. Muddling through their honeymoon with a string of thin excuses for their predicament, the lovers defer finding a solution (and panicking) until the return to their home in London. After all, they married for life and to make rock music, not for the love of sex. Right?

But when they resume life as normal in London, all hell breaks loose. Increasingly frantic in their quest for release, the unhappy newlyweds embark on a string of hilarious and occasionally harmful antics that drives them, their band, and an assortment of random strangers to the brink of despair. But it ain’t over ‘til it’s over or, in this case… it ain’t over ‘til the newlyweds sing. (Synopsis courtesy of Amazon.)

Casey and Alex's situation is definitely unimaginable. Nicky takes some fun and crazy approaches to this predicament throughout the story. Everything seems to be working against them each time they try for a roll in the hay. How frustrating that must be! It eventually starts to take a toll on their confidence and their relationship.

Nicky has great use of dialogue and humor to carry the story from start to finish. The dynamic between Alex and Casey, as well as with their friends, feels realistic. I enjoyed the secondary characters as much as the primary ones, especially the gay couple (but I won't say how they are involved in the story as to not give spoilers). I also appreciate that Nicky summarizes some of the incidents instead of having us go through them at the same time as Alex and Casey did.

There are a few times when I felt the story could easily end in a good spot and I would have been satisfied. However, then it spins out of control again and starts to feel a bit tedious before getting back to a good spot again.

Overall, 7 Years Bad Sex was an imaginative and entertaining story that I enjoyed reading. I could tell that Nicky had a lot of fun writing it and trying to devise ways for her main characters to NOT do the deed.

Thanks to Nicky Wells for the book in exchange for an honest review.

More by Nicky Wells:

Spotlight: Christmas Confessions & Cocktails...plus a special giveaway

We're excited to be part of the Christmas Confessions & Cocktails blog tour!

Christmas Confessions & Cocktails by Vicki Lesage

Synopsis:

American-turned-Parisian Vicki tells it like it is, from her crazy Christmases growing up in the Midwest to her even crazier holidays in her new home in France. Bizarre gifts, stomach-turning food, and holiday travel disasters are just some of the tales you'll chuckle at in this installment of the Paris Confessions series.

This Christmas-themed memoir features 25 funny and heartwarming essays, all with a tenuous tie to Christmas, and pairs each with a delicious drink recipe. So grab your martini shaker and get ready for tasty cocktails and hearty laughs this holiday season!

Buy the Book:

AmazonUS
AmazonUK

Who doesn't love a Giveaway?!?

Vicki is giving away her book Confessions of a Paris Party Girl below:

Synopsis:

When newly-single party girl Vicki moved to Paris, she was hoping to indulge in wine, stuff her face with croissants, and fall in love. It proved to be much more difficile than she'd imagined. In this laugh-out-loud memoir, this cheeky storyteller recounts the highs and lows of her life in the City of Light. Sassy and shamefully honest, Vicki makes you feel as if you're right there in Paris stumbling along the cobblestones with her.

Will she find love? Will she learn to consume reasonable amounts of alcohol? Will the French administration ever cut her a break?

A funny memoir about coming of age and embarking on a new life in Paris. Part travel memoir, part love story, this collection of funny essays shows the humorous side of life, love, and drinking in Paris.

Enter to Win. Open worldwide. Giveaway ends tomorrow!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

About the Author:

Amazon bestselling author Vicki Lesage proves daily that raising two French kids isn't as easy as the hype lets on. In her three minutes of spare time per week, she writes, sips bubbly, and prepares for the impending zombie apocalypse. She lives in Paris with her French husband, rambunctious son, and charming daughter, all of whom mercifully don't laugh when she says "au revoir."

She penned the "Paris Confessions" series in between diaper changes and wine refills. She writes about the ups and downs of life in the City of Light at her website. You can also find her at Twitter, Facebook, and Amazon.

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Check out all the Tour Stops:

12.07.15

Review @ Corrine's Garden
Review @ Hello...Chick Lit
Spotlight Post @ Lozza's Book Corner
Guest Post by Vicki @ This Chick Reads

12.08.15

Review/Spotlight Post @ ChocolatePages
Spotlight Post @ Literary Chanteuse
Inteview with Vicki @ Judging More than just the Cover

12.09.15

Review @ Ali - The Dragon Slayer
Excerpt @ T&L Book Reviews
Interview with Vicki @ The Avid Readers Blog

12.10.15

Review/Excerpt @ Live, Laugh & Love Books
Review @ Writing Pearls
Spotlight @ One Book at a Time

12.11.15

Spotlight Post @ Denise Derrico
Review @ Serve Me Reviews
Guest Post @ It's not all Gravy
Excerpt @ Art, Books & Coffee
Spotlight Post @ Around the World Books
Excerpt @ Book Groupies

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Tour Set Up by:

I ♥ all the Books Tours

Festive holiday reads!

There are so many holiday chick lit reads out there, so we wanted to highlight a few. There will be some more appearing on our bookshelf on December 21st. You may also be seeing a few other holiday book posts throughout the month.

Visit Book Mama Blog, This Chick Reads and Hello...Chick Lit for some holiday book recommendations, as well!

Sex, Snow, and Mistletoe by 
Laura Barnard (Short story)

Is Melinda right to follow the strangers sexy, snowy path or could he be too good to be true?

Visit Laura at Facebook and Twitter.

Completions and Connections by Kathryn R. Biel (Novella)

How can Christine complete her resolution list when she can’t find time to date?

Visit Kathryn at Facebook and Twitter.

A Winterfold Christmas by 
Harriet Evans (Novella)

Experience a festive reunion with the Winter family in their home in the English countryside—or meet them for the first time—and enjoy their warm celebrations around the fire.

Visit Harriet at Facebook and Twitter.

Snowed in for Christmas by 
Claire Sandy

There are many family mysteries waiting to be unwrapped, along with the presents under the tree...

Visit Claire on Twitter (as Bernie Strachan).

A Miracle at Macy's by 
Lynn Marie Hulsman

One lost dog. Two lonely hearts. A Manhattan Christmas full of magic.

Visit Lynn Marie at Facebook and Twitter.

One Wish in Manhattan by 
Mandy Baggot

The temperature is dropping, snow is on its way and Hayley Walker is heading for New York with one wish … to start over.

Visit Mandy at Facebook and Twitter.

Make a Christmas Wish by 
Julia Williams

Livvy is given one last magical chance to make everything right...will she take it and give her family the perfect Christmas?

Visit Julia Williams at Facebook and Twitter.




Finally, seeing that we haven't heard about any Hanukkah books out this year, we're sharing one that was on our Bookshelf last winter.

Lights, Latkes, and Love by 
Peggy Bird (Novella)

Can a nice Jewish boy—with the help of some Christmas lights, a little girl, and a latke party—teach Hannah the true meaning of the season and guarantee them both a New Year’s Eve kiss to remember?

Visit Peggy Bird at Facebook and Twitter.